


Second Best

by bixies_wife, bixietrash



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Pre-Canon, Rare Pair, Sparring, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 11:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10512795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bixies_wife/pseuds/bixies_wife, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bixietrash/pseuds/bixietrash
Summary: When Sans approaches Undyne about joining the Guard, she's less than impressed....at first, anyway.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Request fic for /u/Zero0Sanity @ Reddit

"No freakin' way." Undyne rolls her eyes and turns her back to Sans. Her armor clatters as she moves, snow crunching underfoot. What a waste of time.

 

Sans, as usual, is still in front of her somehow.

 

"Aw c'mon, fish stick," he says, shrugging. "Paps really wants me to join. You wouldn't wanna let down my brother, wouldja?" He winks at her.

She bristles at the nickname, but her shoulders slump a little when he mentions his brother. "I'm training Papyrus! I can only have one trainee at a time. When Papyrus is in the Guard, _maybe_ I'll think about taking you on." After all, Papyrus might not be able to hold his own in battle, and he might suck at cooking, but at least he's not gonna turn into dust if she looks at him wrong. 

1 HP and he wants to join the Guard? Sans is an accident waiting to happen.

 

"Look, I know what you're thinkin'..." His perpetual grin seems to widen slightly.

_Well,_ she thinks, _at least he’ll admit it._

"...but if you're not up to the task of trainin' both of us at once, then maybe I can help you with Paps, I mean, he is my bro after all, and if it's takin' you this long—"

Undyne stops in her tracks, twirls her spear, and plants it into the ground. Her chest rises and falls twice, and then she speaks.

"Enough." She looks down at him, one bright eye shining through her helm grate. _Geez, he's even shorter than Alphys._ "You're a liability. And I'm not talking just if a human came along—you're weak enough that any injury—well, c'mon, you know." She grits her teeth. "Papyrus'll be a hell of a lot more upset if I let his brother do something that's gonna get him killed."

But Sans shrugs and rolls his eyes up towards the sky. "Aw c'mon, I can't go back to Paps if you don't even knock me down first. You know he'll just keep makin' me pester you until you gimme a shot." He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "Let's both just get this over with right away, hunh?"

She brushes past him, bumping him just enough to throw him off balance into the snow bank. A gentle-enough tap to not risk his life, but firm enough to get her point across.

He grins at her, looking at the snow bank she'd clearly intended to throw him into. "Hunh, ya missed? It was prolly just a fluke. Ya got those tiny hips."

 

She freezes in place, like a cat with hackles raised. She turns toward him, trying to hide her incredulity. "You..."

Undyne's smile widens into a crazed grimace.

This time, she aims a controlled push right in the center of his chest. Somehow, Sans is just out of the way. He moves—not like when he takes one of his 'shortcuts'—but he also doesn't seem to exert any effort for it.

"Your hand musta slipped," he says, shrugging.

She glances down at her hand, metal clanking against metal as she opens and shuts her glaive, as if to make sure it's still attached.

She hardens her stance, and tosses a shield and a spear to him.

He watches them sail past him into the snow. "Geez, you missed that one too. I'm beginnin' to think maybe you're havin' an off day." He's smiling from lack of ear to lack of ear.

She materializes a spear in her hand. "Pick them up. You wanted a chance, fine. You've got it." Her teeth flash as she readies her attack.

He looks down at the spear and shield. "Looks heavy." He shrugs and winks. "I'll take my chances unarmed."

 

She frowns. He's _taunting_ her? Won't even TAKE THE SPEAR? What's he going to do, _annoy_ her into defeat?!

She launches her spear at him, holding back at the last second. It doesn't need to do damage, it just needs to hit him.

To prove her point.

But again, Sans is somehow not where she anticipated him to be. He watches the spear disappear into the snow with a soft _whooff_ , and looks up at her. "Was that one for me to grab too?" He looks like he's stifling laughter.

Suddenly, she lifts her arm and launches a barrage of spears toward Sans. Some flip and sail in the opposite direction. Sans darts around the field, sliding around with only the smallest movements of his feet, and suddenly something hard strikes Undyne directly under her chin, hurling her onto her back. She can see the whatever-it-was disappear back into the ground in her peripheral vision.

Sans whistles. "Nasty fall, y'alright?"

She jumps to her feet and grabs a snow-covered boulder, suplexing it in celebration. "That... was...  awesome!" All at once, she's launching spears at Sans again, determined to land at least one hit.

Sans looks only slightly and briefly surprised, before sliding out of the way of the attacks again (actually having to throw in an extra duck into it this time to avoid a returning spear) and this time, she sees the row of magical bones jutting up out of the snow like backwards dominos toward her.

She glances back at Sans with a flash of teeth, and slices through the row of bones with her spear. "Hah!" Man, he's actually attacking her. For a second there, she was worried Sans was going to be like _h_ _im._ Though... she _still_ hasn't landed an attack. Damn it.

Sans takes advantage of her defensive attack and launches another volley of bones, this time coming from every direction, all pointed in at her like they're needles and she's a pincushion. He looks half-bored, half-amused as he does this.

Undyne notices just in time to duck and roll to the side, then from the ground, she launches a barrage of spears back—some slicing at the bones that haven't yet hit the ground around her, others aimed directly for Sans. Where the _hell_ did this come from? He's been holding out on them the whole time?!

Sans, still wearing that shit-eating grin, slides across the ground, heels lifted slightly but otherwise still not seeming to find the movement difficult. Suddenly, he raises his left hand towards her, palm outward, and a crushing weight grips Undyne's body.

Undyne hunches and falls to one knee, as if bowing to Sans. "What..." She grimaces. Her soul is... blue? Well. That's new. "Where the hell did you learn how to do that?"

Sans shrugs and winks at her, though she doesn't have much time to see, because barreling towards her, filling the entire clearing, is a tide of bones towering up out of the snow. Soon, there will be no ground upon which to stand, only the veritable obstacle course bearing down on her.

She pivots, and slashes with her spear, sending spears hurtling in all directions. Most are aimed defensively at sweeping away the bones, but some change direction suddenly, and arc toward Sans like missiles. Meanwhile, she's getting accustomed to the weight in her chest. She digs her heel in and plants her other foot down, still slinging spears as fast as her arms can throw.

She doesn't see how this time, but Sans is still standing, actually leaning on the spears she just threw, stuck in the ground next to him. And then he's gone, completely, and she can't see him anywhere.

 

She pants, squinting in the silent snowfall and the slurry of bones and spears. Gone. She whirls around, smiling triumphantly, spear out and ready to face him.

Undyne is greeted by two faces looking at her. Sans, hands still in his pockets, stupid grin still on his face, and the piercing stare of a monstrous skull, vaguely canid, floating in front of her, its eyes fixed almost hungrily on her.

 

He made bone dogs.

 

She cocks an eyebrow, somewhere between impressed and baffled. _He's Sans._ The most she's seen him move is from the couch to the fridge.

 

He made bone dogs.

 

And she still hasn't landed a damned hit.

 

The jaw of the giant skull flops down, its head tilting up at the same time. Sans winks at Undyne, and there's a massive, ear-piercing roar as a white-hot stream of energy comes tearing out of the skull's open mouth. It scorches her armor and sends her flying across the clearing, where she clunks against a tree, flopping onto the ground.

As she recovers, Sans walks over to her slowly down the trail of snowless, scorched earth left behind by the attack, and reaches a hand out to help her up. "Y'okay, fish stick?"

"Huh?" She looks up at him groggily, and her eye finally focuses on the skeletal hand outstretched to her. At first, she thinks it's a trick. Hesitantly, she takes his hand, then suddenly jumps to her feet.

She pulls off her helmet in a quick motion and tosses it into the snow. Now he can get the full effect of her maniacal laugh.

She laughs and laughs, as another spear forms in her hand.

Let's see him dodge while he's green.

 

Sans stands in place, watching her with his hands in his pockets and a curious expression in his grin. Once she's finally done laughing, he says, "Feelin' better?"

"You're strong! But you've got to learn to face challenges head on."

Once again, she tosses him a spear and a shield. And once again, Sans watches them fall into the snow beside him.

He yawns, and in one quick motion, lifts his left hand up into the air. Undyne's soul flushes blue again, and she suddenly finds herself sailing up into the foliage above, her feet pointed toward the sky.

She stifles a cry as she's flung into the air, gaping down at Sans. She recovers quickly and meets him with a barrage of spears, coming from all directions—all the while, dangling by the waist from an invisible force above her.

Sans, hand still in the air, casually flings her around the treetops, dodging her spears by moving Undyne from side to side, seemingly unperturbed as they sink into the snow inches away from him.

Her eye twitches, even as she's being flung around the sky. She's getting her ass handed to her by this little punk? _How the f..._

 

She grits her teeth. Fine, if that's how he's going to be. She takes a spear in hand and swipes it across herself, swishing through her soul. She falls to the ground, soul glowing green. She lands on knee and hand, in a perfect three-point landing.

  
Sans looks impressed.

She rises, twirling her spear. "Here we are. There's no escape now."

"Man," he says with a wink. "That was kinda hot."

Undyne balks. "W-wh—" If she was an anime sword maiden, she'd totally have a sweat drop right now.

She clears her throat, hardening her gaze. She points her spear at Sans. "You've fought well. It's impressive! But what will you do? Now that you are on equal footing with your enemy, how will you proceed?"

She stabs forward with her spear as a distraction, as another barrage come at Sans from all sides.

Sans grins and shrugs, but then his eyes close. He's clearly trying to hide it, but for the first time during the scrap, he looks like he's concentrating. Bones spring up again from the ground, shielding him from each spear in the barrage heading towards him, right on time, with no wasted magic. More skulls pop up out of nowhere, smaller but more numerous than the one before, their glowing eyes standing out even in the snow-reflected light as they swarm around Undyne, and the blazing white channels of energy are fired towards her.

Undyne ducks, twirling her shield around her as the beams clatter and dissipate against it. As much as she tries to hide it, she's straining under her armor to catch every beam. He's so fast, how is he so _fast?_

As Undyne's onslaught continues, so does Sans' combination defense and attack, stopping each spear just in time, his 'bone dogs' swirling around her head in a terrifying waltz. But even as all this is going on, when Undyne catches a look at Sans', she notices a single drop of sweat running down his forehead, belying his casual smile.

She breaks into a menacing grin, her teeth jagged and reflecting the magic around them. This tiny show of weakness fills Undyne with determination.

 

_Endurance._

 

He doesn't know how to pace himself for a continued onslaught the way she does. She's been holding back. Not just to protect him, but to save her strength. But if he's cracking, then it's time to turn up the heat.

Undyne, with barely any sign of increased effort, flicks her hand, doubling the number of spears in her barrage. Her eye flashes for a moment. _Ah, what the hell. He's earned it_. The barrage doubles again.

Sans, seeming to sense the increased danger, opens his eyes for this one, and the skulls stop appearing. Instead, more bones jut up from the ground in an increasing frenzy, blocking and breaking the magical spears closing in on him, while occasionally one does double duty and tries to smack Undyne as well.

He continues to deflect or block every spear in her attack, until it's almost over, and finally—

"HA!" She jumps up, pumping her first.

Undyne's celebration is cut short.

"Hng!" The sound that comes from Sans' mouth is short, grating. A spear sticks out, holding his hoodie jacket open from the inside. He falls down on the ground, Undyne's magical weapon pointing toward the sky, blood(?) drenching the spearhead.

The spears fall away, and she stares at Sans as he collapses.

"Sans."

 

There's only silence.

 

"S-Sans?"

 

She approaches him slowly, seeing the tinge of red splashed along the spear's tip. _Blood?_ She stares at it curiously. But—but that can only mean—Sans— _h-human?_ And humans... they're weird. Their bodies stay after their souls have been destroyed or taken. Like they've fallen down.

 

And _Sans_ looks like he's fallen—

 

She shakes her head.

 

"Sans! Get up!" she commands, her voice breaking at the end. She grits her teeth, worry rising up inside her. There's no human soul to take, and he's not dust. He's just not used to taking a hit, is all. That can be trained out of him in the guard. He can get stronger. "SANS. As—as your Captain, I command you to stand!"

She looms over him, her smile becoming more manic with every passing second that Sans doesn't respond. "SANS!" she calls again. She pulls off her glaives and tosses them into the snow, bending to Sans. She hesitates, then puts her hand on his head. "Sans," she hisses, her face nearly parallel to his. "Don't you disappoint your brother! Get up!"

Sans stirs, his eyes opening very slightly, and reaches out, putting a hand on her head. "Fish... stick..." he whispers, almost inaudibly, beckoning her closer.

Undyne kneels beside him, then in one motion, swoops him up into her arms. "Sans!" He hasn't fallen down! He hasn't fallen down, he's okay, he's okay, he's okay... "That was good work out there, soldier. Welcome to the guard." She smiles at him, but her face is still lined with worry.

Sans leans in closer, whispering something she can't hear.

Her brow knits, and she leans closer. "What? I can't hear you—"

He whispers softly, "Gotcha," and suddenly pecks her on the lips, pulling his arm away from his body and letting the spear fall to the ground.

Undyne drops him on the ground, spluttering. Her cheeks are flushed dark blue.

"Aw man," he says, in a normal voice now, pulling his jacket open to reveal a burst bottle of ketchup in an inside pocket. "This'll take Paps a ton of washes to get out."

She squints at his ketchup bottle and sighs, exasperated. "I give up, you're in the guard. Just stay out of my way." She stomps past Sans.

Sans gets the wind knocked out of him, but is laughing nontheless. "Aw, c'mon fish stick," he calls after her. "That was funny." He's suddenly in front of her, rubbing the back of his head and looking almost... bashful?

"Nah, really," he says. "I knew you were prolly the second best fighter down here, but I didn't know you were that good."

She _almost_ gets offended at the 'second best' comment, but it's true. Just because she's knocked down Asgore once doesn't mean that she could hold her own against him in an all-out battle.

She can't even land a hit on _Sans._

She marches ahead in the snow, looking forward to getting back to Waterfall and out of the cold. She picks up her scattered gear as an afterthought, still mulling over everything that went wrong in her fight against Sans.

 

_How. HOW?!_ Was it all a trick?

 

He winks at her. "You train pretty hard, hunh?"

 

She stops finally and stares down at him. "...Yeeesss..."

And when's the last time he trained? When's the last time he did _anything?!_

"Man, wish I could do that." He kicks some snow. "Y'know, I actually got a treadmill awhile back, but it was mostly just to make Paps happy. Walking everywhere must be annoying." He pauses under Undyne's steely gaze, and then rubs the back of his head, looking strangely shy again. "Say, Undyne—" he begins.

"What?" she asks, between gritted teeth. Unbelievable. He's mocking her! Can't she just slink into the mist of defeat without him rubbing it in even further? Taunting her? Making her feel all... weird... with his no-lip kissing and dodging her every move—and now he has to rub in just how effortless all of this has been, huh? Is that how it's gonna be?!

"That was a hell of a spar. I was gonna head over to Grillby's for a bite, replace my ketchup here," he says, grinning. "Would you maybe wanna, I dunno, come with? Maybe, uh, tell me how I could improve a little bit?" He gives her a glance, and a smile with the slightest bit of flirtation in it—or are her eyes are deceiving her?

Her face puckers and she tilts her head. "Are you... asking me... on a date?"

 

He winks and shrugs. "Only one way to find out."


End file.
